Picture by Oziel Gómez
We are often told that a partner is someone who completes us. But in reality, it is actually the total opposite. A healthy relationship is more about mutual exchange rather than depending on each other to find "the missing piece". They should be the one that can help you grow as a person, motivate you to strive for the best and be a shoulder to lean on when things get tough.
With that in mind, it is essential to be ready before getting into a relationship. Teenagers nowadays tend to rush into relationships due to peer pressure and FOMO. This could be the reason why they dive in headfirst, anxious to experience love. The younger generation needs to understand that they do not need to rely on someone else to seek true happiness. But why do people feel the need to get into a relationship when they are not ready yet?
Most people find it hard to believe that some people do find comfort in being alone. Just because they are alone, it does not mean they are lonely, there is a difference! However, for the current generation, dating starts early. And not having a partner can be seen in a negative light. This is due to a mentality instilled by society and creeping thoughts of what others might think coming to haunt us. Eventually, this may lead to teenagers getting into relationships to boost their self-esteem, image or fill a void. As a consequence, the relationship might just crumble even before it begins to bloom.
We tend to see the over-romanticization of relationships displayed by the media imprints an ideal, picture-perfect relationship in the minds of impressionable teenagers. But suppose a relationship does not match up to such standards. In that case, they may start harbouring pessimistic beliefs and problems will begin to arise. One might even try too hard to achieve perfection and go as far as controlling their partner, resulting in a toxic relationship.
A toxic relationship can be the root of various complications such as one's mental health, harbouring jealousy and insecurity. One prime example that can be seen these days is someone getting mad at their partner for not texting back fast enough. Or, even being jealous for liking another person's Instagram picture. The constant need to please your significant other will suffocate you in the long run.
Getting caught in the thrill of a relationship can easily cause you to lose sight of your priorities. By adapting to your partner's habits, they will subconsciously influence the way you think and make choices. On that note, being with someone who does not share the same view will put a limit on your options, whether it is out of habit or fear that it might offend your partner.
Acknowledging signs of codependency in your partner is the first step to avoid further deterioration of a relationship. By understanding yourself better before stepping into a relationship, you will know what you want and deserve, so that you would not settle for less.
Prioritizing yourself is not selfish. Never stop pursuing your goals and doing the things you enjoyed when you were single. Always strive to be the best version of yourself, not for your partner or anyone else, but for yourself.
By Danelle Tan