Aren’t you sick and tired of being a pushover? Well, it’s time to change.
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There is a major difference between “just being nice” and being a pushover. Sometimes, you just want to ask yourself, “Why is it so hard for me to say no?” Well, it could be a trait that you picked up from the family you were brought up in. In families, the middle child is normally the one who is heavily affected by this, because they just learn to give in to everything. However, being a pushover in society could often be tiring as well. People may tend see you as an easy target. As a result, it could also lead you to be stressed and feel less confident. So, the question remains: Are you a pushover?
5 Signs That You May Be A Pushover
1. You ALWAYS get the hardest task.
Have you ever wondered why you always receive the toughest job in a group project?
The truth is, there are some people that like being in a group with you for assignments, merely because they know you wouldn’t say no to a hard task.
2. People only seem to look for you when they need help.
“Hey, can you lend me some money?”
“Hi, can you bring this to the office for me?”
“I didn’t complete my homework on time, could you let me copy off yours?”
Sounds familiar?
As someone who may be seen as a ‘pushover’, you find that people mostly come to you only when they have a favour to ask of you.
3. People treat you as if you’re easy.
You don’t hear any “Thank You’s” after helping them, do you?
This is because you do it so frequently for them, that they take it for granted.
On a side note, you also tend to get blamed if you don’t say yes to their requests.
4. You don’t feel respected by others.
Do you feel like you aren’t able to voice out your opinion?
And it’s not like you didn’t want to, they just didn’t give you a chance to.
Often times, others may not bother asking for your opinion, because they know you would say “yes” anyways.
5. You’re always the one “sacrificing”.
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No matter what situation you’re in, you’re always the sacrificial lamb and you know it.
People will automatically look at you whenever they face a crisis.
Even if it’s YOU who saves the day, nobody really appreciates it.
If you relate to more than 3 of these, Congratulations! Not.
You are probably a pushover.
But not to worry, being a pushover doesn’t mean that you are a bad person. It just means that you have trouble saying “No” sometimes, thus allowing others to use you to their own advantage. Though it may not be bad for others, it’s harmful towards yourself, because you are more than what you do for others. You deserve to be treated as well as you treat others, and deserve to let yourself be heard.
But how can you actually start saying “No”?
1. Try listening to what your heart really wants.
Photo by Anna Kolosyuk on Unsplash
Sometimes, it may feel easier to just agree to doing what others ask of you, which makes you think that doing their bidding is what you want, even if it isn’t.
If you feel really uncomfortable doing something, politely decline.
Saying no doesn’t really mean that you are being a bad friend, you are just respecting your own decision.
1. Stay away from those “toxic” people.
There are only two types of people in your friend circle:
· The friends that stay with you because they genuinely enjoy spending time with you; that appreciate your presence and your time.
· Those people that befriend you in order to take advantage of your kindness.
Start figuring out those friends who genuinely appreciate you and are worth your time. Might as well get rid of the ones that do no good to you or your livelihood.
2. Talk it out.
Photo by Volodymyr Hryshchenko on Unsplash
In the end, there are always trustworthy friends you can go to, who see you for who you truly are and genuinely care about your wellbeing. Talk to them about how you’re feeling, and who knows? They might have some healthy advice.
It can be stressful to deal with this alone, and may really help you feel better.
4. Practice, practice, practice.
“Everything is Practice”- Pele.
This is the most important step of them all. It will be difficult adjusting to this at first, but you can slowly get used to standing up for yourself by practicing.
If you start saying “No” more frequently, you’ll find it easier to spit those words out day by day.
And before you know it, you may even start being able to confront those who choose to take advantage of you.
Saying the word “No” doesn’t make you a bad person, it’s a form of self-respect.
Kindness is not Weakness.
By: Yen Jee